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Things You Don’t Want to Hear From Your Child

April 11, 2011

This post was inspired by Sophie, my muse, and her words that make me laugh, cry and, in this case, cringe.

1. Mommy, I found a sharp knife downstairs.

2. Don’t worry, I’ll clean up the mess.

3. It’s just a little accident. Not a lot of pee.

4. Romeo (the dog) won’t run away because I tied him up.

5. I’m not hurting the cat. I’m just petting him.

6. Mommy, I made a cake out of toilet paper in the potty.

7. I stepped on the DVD and it broke in half. But I’m okay.

8. I told all my friends and teachers I’ll have a baby sister soon (NOT TRUE!).

9. I fell down the stairs. But I’m okay.

10.  I just used my hands (when asked if Sophie used toilet paper after going to the potty).


Poor Clifford. Let's hope one of our real animals isn't next!

29 Comments leave one →
  1. April 11, 2011 10:16 pm

    Awesome post. My favorite is “Don’t worry, it didn’t break much”

    Actually when I hear nothing at all I get real nervous. With four boys in the house, if it’s quiet then something has gone wrong, or something is about to go terribly wrong.

    Good luck on your Post a Week goal for the year.

    • Leah permalink*
      April 11, 2011 10:23 pm

      Thanks, Tim. You’re so right about not hearing anything. I should have put “silence” as #11.

  2. dawn levey permalink
    April 11, 2011 10:22 pm


  3. April 12, 2011 3:52 am

    “Mommy I wanted to help you , so I painted the kitchen wall”, not so funny then, but 9 years later….I still can stop smiling. There is a Russian book call “Form 3 to 5” it only contains thing that kids say-hilarious!!! Wonderful post Leah!

    • Leah permalink*
      April 12, 2011 9:09 pm

      Thanks, Ariadna. I have to say that yours is pretty dang funny. I laughed when I read it.

  4. April 12, 2011 5:22 am

    Cringe, but smile….it’s great that you are recording these because, even if they don’t make you smile now, someday they might! I loved the one about Sophie telling everyone she was having a baby sister! It reminded me of a day when I was volunteering in my son’s third grade class. During “show-and-tell circle time,” one of the kids “showed” his father’s speeding ticket–which was then passed around the circle for all to see. I was quite amused, but I bet that dad was cringing. 🙂 (And I agree with Tim: silence is the worst sign, perhaps especially as they get older!)

    • Leah permalink*
      April 12, 2011 9:08 pm

      Thanks, Julia. You know, they do make me smile now. After the fact. And that is hilarious about the speeding ticket.

  5. April 12, 2011 5:42 am

    Bahahahahaha!!! Those are amazing. I especially love the picture of poor Clifford.

    • Leah permalink*
      April 12, 2011 9:08 pm

      Thanks, Leah. See what you have to look forward to! And yes, poor Clifford. The innocent pup in the scenario.

  6. April 12, 2011 6:03 am

    OMG this is the post I woke up to…and I am cracking up!
    Can’t stop chuckling. Sophie…muse indeed.
    Your house is obviously not a boring place to live. Loads of material to be had 🙂
    Great post, Leah.

    • Leah permalink*
      April 12, 2011 8:36 pm

      Thanks, Cynthia. And so glad it made you laugh. Yes, our house is never boring!

  7. April 12, 2011 9:00 am

    Oh. My. Word! Loved this, Leah! I was literally cracking up while sitting at my computer! I especially chuckled at #10. Keep that sanitizer handy! Thanks for putting a smile on my face during this hectic morn! : ) Hugs!

    • Leah permalink*
      April 12, 2011 8:35 pm

      Glad I (or Sophie) could make you laugh. And yes, we’re stocked on soap and hand sanitizer.

  8. April 12, 2011 10:18 am

    Never a dull moment with the Gopher around! I can just picture her face and hands while saying these “pearls of wisdom”! Gotta love her. At least she’s honest, huh!?

  9. April 12, 2011 2:00 pm

    laughing at #10 especially

    • Leah permalink*
      April 12, 2011 8:34 pm

      Funny. Scary. And true!

  10. April 12, 2011 7:11 pm

    I just finished composing a post for tomorrow for the A to Z Blogging Challenge–K is for Kids Say the Darndest Things. Hope you’ll visit tomorrow and take a look. Aren’t kids delightful?

    • Leah permalink*
      April 12, 2011 8:34 pm

      Can’t wait to check out your site. Thanks for visiting. And yes, kids are delightful!

  11. April 13, 2011 6:13 am

    I didn’t know that it was possible to laugh and cringe at the same time – until now 😀 Thanks for teaching me a new skill.

  12. April 13, 2011 10:17 am

    I just laughed out loud. You got me with, “I just stepped on the dvd and it broke . . . but I’m okay.” Love it.

  13. April 13, 2011 11:02 am

    This is so funny! And I also find it very amusing that some of these things are universal. Like when my 5 year old told me that “I wanted to help with dinner, but I cleaned up all the flour” It’s a moment that makes you say yikes as you are running to the kitchen to inspect the damage.

  14. Tammy permalink
    April 13, 2011 1:03 pm

    Laugh out loud funny!

  15. April 13, 2011 2:28 pm

    HAHAHA TOO FUNNY 🙂 Oh the joys of being a mom!

  16. April 14, 2011 9:02 am

    Ha! One of my favorites lately was, “Lydia, helped me wipe by bottom!” Lydia is 2. Oops…

    Visiting from SITS 🙂

    • Leah permalink*
      April 16, 2011 8:58 pm

      Thanks for visiting! I love that one about Lydia. Classic!

  17. April 14, 2011 6:52 pm

    Leah, I love all ten! Great post!

    • Leah permalink*
      April 16, 2011 8:56 pm

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Yes, the kid is comedy … along with a cringe.

  18. April 25, 2011 11:47 pm

    Great post! Happy to come across your blog, Leah. 🙂

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