Curiouser and Curiouser (or the Questions of Sophie in Wonderland)

I’m feeling the need to go back to school. I say this not because I have a desire to learn new things. No, I need to learn all the things I forgot or ignored the first time around in order to keep up with the questions that Sophie asks me every day.

You think I’m being funny? I’m completely serious. Every day she asks me questions and often times, I have no idea what the answers are. I have tried the clever retort of “What do you think, Sophie?” But usually what I get in return is, “I don’t know, mommy. What do you think? That’s why I’m asking you.” The kid has a point.

So in order to either answer her appropriately – or at least act like I have some sort of brains – I need to re-educate myself on the basics of astronomy, religion, anatomy and the like.

Here are just a few of the questions Sophie has asked me lately.

What if the sun did not come out?

What is a planet?

Are there people on other planets?

What happens if the moon doesn’t come out?

What if we had no heads?

Do we live inside or outside of the world?

Why is poop brown?

What would happen if we didn’t have noses?

Why do beetles live on earth? (I was starting to go on about how they were from Liverpool and every once and a while we are given a musical gift … Then I realized she was talking about the bug, not the band.)

Why does it rain?

How did Max (the golden retriever that died) get up to heaven with God?

Why can’t I see God from the airplane?

Who draws all the pictures in our books?

Why can’t I pee standing up like boys?

What do clouds taste like? Do they taste like whipped cream?

What are angels? Why do they help people?

Why do ants come into our house? I think it’s very rude of them to come into the house.

Why aren’t we sitting in an emergency exit row (on the airplane)?

So friends, what would you tell Sophie? If you have the answers to any of these questions, leave them in the comments so I can start educating my daughter properly … or make something up and I’ll see what she says.

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