Sometimes, when I run or when I’m laying on the yoga mat, a song plays and I feel like I’m watching myself in a movie montage.
You know those scenes? Where the character is in a penultimate plot point or you’re seeing the progression of character through time in a montage series … it’s usually about three-quarters through the movie … and there’s a song overlaying the scene.
I feel like I’m having an out-of-body experience … watching myself from far above, an observer of my own life. Like I’m watching myself in one of those scenes.
It doesn’t happen with every song, nor does it happen with every run or Shavasana pose.
Am I really here? … When I was a kid, I often wondered if my life was a dream. Would I wake up one day and discover that I was in a coma or asleep? That I dreamt my life? … What kid thinks this way?
For years, I felt like I was being watched, but not by an actual person … like we watch an actor in a show. Is someone watching my life? Maybe it’s not actually me watching my life unfold in those moments of song and movement and stillness. Is that what I’m feeling —observation —in these moments that are few and far between?
Is there meaning in this feeling? A message I’m supposed to glean? Maybe I’ve just watched too many movies. … Maybe it’s just the power of a good song, of a moment, of a place in life.