Need Advice on the Latest Trends? DO NOT ask me!

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not hip. I don’t know the latest trends, slogans and sayings. Up until this week, I couldn’t tell you the difference between a Honey Badger and a Honey Bee. And this is not just since being old and married with a child. I was neither a trend setter nor a trend follower in high school. I was typically about a year behind on whatever fad was making its way through the country. By the time I embraced the fad, it was no longer “in,” making said fad (and myself) quite unpopular.

My closest family and friends will agree with me on this point. Several years ago my sisters erupted in laughter when I asked what “bling” meant. They’re younger than me, I thought. Yes, that must be it. Surely Bryan won’t know the term “bling.”

Oh yes, he knew what it meant and also erupted in laughter at my ignorance.

The same thing happened when a friend’s teenage daughter was telling me about this intriguing Sim City game she played on the computer. I went home to Bryan and said, Did you know there’s this entire virtual universe called Sim City?

Ah yeah, he said. There are at least two version of it now. Where have you been?

Clearly not there.

Even now – in the age of internet – I am still oblivious when it comes to trends. Let me give you some examples.

Pandora Radio — I just discovered this gem last fall, people.

Angry Bird — What’s this and why is he so mad? What are these birds people are wearing for Halloween costumes? Oh, it’s a Facebook game?

Flash Mobs — With this one, I at least know what it is. But I am stumped because I don’t understand the point. People simultaneously breaking out in pre-choreographed dance moves to look like nothing was planned? Why is this hip?

Zumba — Is this a cool night spot to hang out? Oh, it’s an exercise? Like Jazzercise?

The Kardashians — I don’t understand who these people are and why I should care. What am I missing? Why does my sister wish she were a Kardashian?

After seeing a Halloween costume skit pertaining to Napoleon Dynamite, I finally watch the movie and think, Damn, this is funny! Yeah, that was two years after the movie came out!

Wait, the Honey Badger is just some animal with a funny voiceover on YouTube? (Don’t worry, I am familiar with YouTube.)

By now you’ve learned never to discuss with me trends, fads or fashion. Or if you do, at least wait a year or two until the trend has come and gone. Then I’ll know exactly what you mean.

How about you? Have you had moments like the ones I describe? Are you a trend-setter or as oblivious as me?

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