Running has been difficult lately. Lack of motivation, the quarantine, moving to a new house, feeling like my abilities have regressed, heavy sore legs, ragged breathing and high heart rate, anxiety and mental health struggles … It all feels really hard right now.
I’ve made it a goal to get outside and move, whether it’s running or walking, at least once a day. It helps alleviate feelings of isolation while clearing my head and allowing me to think. Some wonder how this differs from what I did before. The difference is I was always motivated to run consistently, four to five days per week and complete a number of miles each time. I don’t have that drive right now.
This past Tuesday, I went for a 4-mile run in my new neighborhood. It was the first time I’d run in over a week. And even prior to that, the times before were sparingly. It felt hard, but good to get out and move. And today marks four days in a row I’ve been outside moving in some fashion.
I’m not concentrating on number of miles or speed. I have to give myself “permission” to run less than what I normally do, which is a struggle for me. I’m not training for any race (hell, every race I entered has been cancelled). The goal is just to get out and move and see where my body and mind will go. And I’m hopeful that, one day, it will feel natural again.